She is in my trunk
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
