I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
