id be glad to
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
