We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
