You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
