I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
