her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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