I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
