The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
