arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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