Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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