i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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