Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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