i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My vagina is officially offended.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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