so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
