VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this beer tastes like vomit already
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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