Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
