My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
