Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
