I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
