hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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