yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
