btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
