Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
