Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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