maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
