just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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