Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
