Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
