Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
