You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
