my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
