Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
