Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
