that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
