covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You pole danced in your parka.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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