I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
