Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
