I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
