who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
