You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize