It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize