she woke up with a sticky ear
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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