ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
