I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it's like iHOP with fire
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
