He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
