She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
