I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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