Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
