What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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