She's JV to your varsity
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
