I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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