Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think im going to throw up on grandma
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
