not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
