Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
