Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
