No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
