What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
