i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
