Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
