He uses pillows to masturbate.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
