You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
